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I'm sharing this journal entry from one of our sheep / shepherds for your encouragement and invite you to share your stories to keep us connected David
Thursday April 2, 2020: A journal entry:
JESUS WEPT.
A Morning mist of low cloud wrapped soft around the hills.
I read John 6 and tried to ponder on Jesus the living bread. But the mist beckoned and drew me outside, quickly enfolding me in its clammy embrace.
There was no pausing to choose direction. I headed straight up the hill blanketed in the foggy stillness, only birdcall echoing the inner certainty – she’s coming to pray.
Pray up the hill. I haven’t prayed up there for a while. I’ve prayed. But not there on God’s hill, my place of retreat.
At the summit, as cloud drifted and lifted, it was my heart that rained out its anguished plea, the cry for help with COVID19: LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER. Help us Jesus.
That was it. No wordy waffle. I perched on the rim of the damp bench, poised in grief and need; heart, mind and spirit turned to God, “Yet still do I praise you Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Living God.”
A lull then settled over me, like a mute button had been pressed to hush the turmoil of my distressed thoughts and wretched emotions concerning the plight of the world’s people. Wait. Be quiet!
Jesus wept. The words from last Sunday’s reading came to mind loud and clear.
33 When Jesus saw her crying, and the Judaeans who had come with her crying, he was deeply stirred in his spirit, and very troubled. 34 ‘Where have you laid him?’ he asked. ‘Master,’ they said, ‘come and see.’ 35 Jesus burst into tears. (John 11:33-35 NTE)
I too burst into tears, and as I wept, there at the top of the hill, I knew he was weeping with me. Weeping with all the world. Weeping for us all.
Turn to me. And I, turning, vision all awash, could see clearly, he was there. Feed my sheep. To this I shook my head, and thought, I’m no pastor. You are a minister of my word. Therefore, speak my word to others. Speak my word to one another. And suddenly understanding dawned. “You aren’t just saying this to me, are you? It’s your call to all of us: Feed your sheep. The responsibility is ours collectively.” And I pictured the scattered sheep, isolated from one another but belonging together and needing creative new ways of being church and speaking grace and hope to one another and others.
I plunged, then, down the hill, not following the worn paths but winding down the steeper slope, weaving through knee high weeds, around rocky mounds and patches of slippery flattened grass, to emerge at the wider base track.
Now is the time to forge new paths. Jesus is still the Way, the “base track” of my faith remains the same. It’s the network of familiar paths that represent how we have lived out our faith, that have fallen away, not God’s word or his kingdom, or his love.
I am thankful for this love that comes to us where we are: scattered sheep weeping in the mist of uncertainty. I’m thankful that Jesus wept and that his way isn’t set in stone. That he comes and calls us to discover a new and living way, today and tomorrow and the next day. Hallelujah! This is a new day! And the Jesus who weeps with us in our distress will renew us and lead us on beyond COVID19.
JESUS WEPT.
The autumn sun filtered a pale ray through the drifting grey. A reminder that the God who weeps, also sheds light as well as tears.
Look to the Sunrise 2nd Thursday in Advent Read: 2 Samuel 23:1-5 “[God] is like the light of morning at sunrise on a cloudless morning, like the brightness after rain that brings the grass from the earth.” 2 Samuel 23:4 (NIV)
In January 1987, four LTC (Lutheran Teacher’s College) graduates set off from Adelaide in two cars to our postings in Queensland. In Brisbane we parted with two graduates going further north-west. Fran and myself drove up the Sunshine Coast where I dropped her in Buderim. I got up early from Buderim after staying one more night with Fran before heading towards Noosa by myself. I was going to a 1-year-old school, hopefully a place to stay and a brand-new class as a brand-new teacher. Good Shepherd Lutheran School had grown from 75 to 150 students in 1987 – what would all this newness hold for me?
As I watched the sun rise heading north to Noosa, I was excited, anxious but also in awe of what God had in store for me. I am sure we have all had this newness feeling. Starting a new job, moving to a new place, a new house, a new school, getting married – everything has a first day, a new beginning! God gives us the sunrise to remind us that He is the light of each new day and through that newness He will shine a path guiding us and leading us. I love the other analogy that the writer of 2 Samuel uses: God is “like the brightness after rain that brings the grass from the earth.”
We not only have God’s light to guide us at the beginning of each day, but we have the assurance that He will nourish us with His blessings to keep us growing. That first year of teaching in a new school brought with it many challenges: a broken blackboard, minimal teaching resources, a classroom made up of two office demountables put together, and the need for 6 buckets when it rained. But each morning the sun rose, and I could share God’s blessings with my children and grow them in His love. May each of your sunrises bring God’s light in love and peace.
Take time to be in God’s goodness as we journey to Bethlehem. Grow in God’s light and blessings! Prayer: God of the sunrises and new beginnings. I thank and praise you for each new day and with it help me to see the light of your blessings. May they nourish my life and those around me. Amen
Night Is as Day to God 2nd Wednesday in Advent Read: Psalm 139:7-12 “If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me, even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.’” Psalm 139:11-12 (NIV)
In 1991 when I nannied in Wales, I took several trips to London when I had time off. I travelled by bus and also by the underground to where I stayed with a friend. One time I remember while on the underground train, the lights went out, the air conditioner stopped, and it became blackness. I remember being terrified as in the darkness, with no light, the mind plays tricks and makes up scary scenarios in the darkness. Around me I could also hear people crying and calling out. After a couple minutes (seemed like hours), all the power came back on, and we went on our way.
Being in the dark, out of control and cast into the unknown is terrifying. King David must have felt like this at times to write Psalm 139, which tells us that no matter where we go, no matter what we do, or how far away from God we may feel… He is always there. God is omnipresent (everywhere at one time) and omniscient (all-seeing). Even the darkness is not dark to God, but it is as light as day. God shines His light in all our dark places – we can never hide from God, which is so comforting to know He is always looking over us and hearing us in all situations.
When I was caught in the underground in London, I felt so alone, so out of control. With God, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. When events or crises occur in our lives it is wonderful to know that we are not alone, and God has promised that ‘This too will pass’. During these times it is hard to hold onto the hope of the unknown. But know when you cannot hold onto hope – Jesus is holding on to you leading and guiding you through the dark places.
Place your love and trust in a God who will never leave you – you are never alone even in the darkest places. There is no darkness with God – only the light of His presence and love! Prayer: Guiding God, send light into my heart and life especially during the dark times. Hold onto me and never let me go. With you beside me I know that I can get through anything. Thank you. Amen.
Clarity of Understanding Read: Psalm 119:129-135 “The unfolding of your words gives light… Make your face shine upon your servant and teach me your decrees.” Psalm 119:130a, 135 (NIV)
I remember sitting in my year 11 chemistry class listening to Mr Bowden explaining about the chemical elements and their relationship to each other and how we use our knowledge of the periodic table to be able to draw the chemical equations representing the chemical reactions. I was so confused and did not understand what was being talked about at all. It sounded like another foreign language. Does this hold true to you with any of the classes you took at school? I remember going home and asking my brother James – a chemistry teacher to explain it all again.
This time I understood most but needed to go back again and again to James for clarification. The Bible is much like that, which is why we go to church and have Bible Studies to clarify what God is saying to us through His Word. During the service we hear the Pastor in the sermon explaining and giving us background as to why God is saying this, or why He is doing that. As humans we cannot expect to understand God’s ways immediately, but like in the verse above, we gain light and clarity through the unfolding of God’s Words through those who have also studied and asked the questions from others.
Bible study is so important to pursue as a Christian. It opens God’s plans and shows us His unfailing love for us through sending His Son Jesus as a human baby to live as a human with all the human experiences. God is a compassionate and loving God who created each of us in His image and ultimately wants the whole of humankind to be saved. As we come to the beginning of a new church year, and the end of a calendar year, make a resolution to attend a study with others to learn, discuss and grow in God’s Word to illuminate your understanding of the Scriptures and God’s incredible love and plan for all the world. We can never be too busy to learn about God from His Word! Prayer: Lord God, open your Word to me that I may understand and grow in the knowledge of your plan for my life. Help me to continue to grow and learn with others. Amen.